Welcome to the Impeachment Game show

Come on down for the new game in the nation’s capitol—the Impeachment Game–hosted by Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA), produced by Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and sponsored by the Democratic Party. The goal of the game is to remove the President from office using the most outrageous false claim. Contestants are summoned by the Democratic leadership to appear in secret tribunals. The host gathers information to leak to the media, and spins the Wheel of Deception, which lands on the act the sponsor actually did, for which the president will be accused. All television networks will carry the Impeachment Game live every day, all day, until the public demands removal of the President or the ratings crash.

Just to spice things up, the producer of the show rewrote the rules to mimic the Constitution’s impeachment process. It is real enough to make the American public think it is the same, but there are some subtle changes. Pelosi modeled the game off of old communist and socialist dictator coups where secret tribunals were established to accuse and convict people of false acts that could be considered high crimes and misdemeanors. The game has a social twist to it, where the audience must discern what is real. The audience is polled daily to decide which false accusation is gaining the most momentum to remove the president. 

The game also provides for Defenders of the president. The Defenders must navigate the rules which are controlled by the producer and are written as the game continues to prevent exposing what is discussed in the secret tribunals, of which no Defender is allowed to attend. Defenders of the president are not allowed to call witnesses to expose the deeds the sponsors committed, but are used to accuse the president. Defenders also must navigate public opinion after being labeled continuously as bigots, homophobes, Islamophobes, misogynists, xenophobes, racists, having toxic manhood, benefactors of white privilege, capitalists, Christians, or other slurs the sponsor believes to be derogatory. 

Contestants are summoned to testify before the secret tribunal, knowing that everything they say will be twisted when it is leaked to the news media. Contestants choosing not to testify, will be allowed to select consequences, such as going to jail, being fined large sums of money, or simply having their reputations ruined. Another group in the game is Complicit Participants. Complicit Participants are those who watch the Impeachment Game, but do nothing about it. The sponsor believes this group of people will ultimately determine whether the game is successful at removing the president. Hollywood is promoting the Impeachment Game as a blockbuster television hit, sure to demonstrate a social phenomena depicting a new normal for America. The game slogan is from Matthew 24:4: “Take heed that no man deceives you.”

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